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Our Need to Grieve

Searching For Truth: A Blog by Sherri Smith


We celebrate love. We experience the sensation deep within our bodies and often express it openly. It is an acceptable emotion in our society and one that is embraced. With all aspects of life however, there is a shadow side or polarity; the sun and moon, pain and sorrow, positive and negative, strength and weakness, young and old and so on. We cannot fully understand one without the other. The attraction to the Western culture is our gains in materialism and physical comforts, yet we are experiencing a spiritual and emotional poverty. Emotion is the most natural response and grieving has the same profound strength that love holds, in its shadow side. What I find beautiful from travelling and studying other cultures is the tradition and wisdom they share. And what I witnessed from my journey to the depths of the villages in Africa was unbounding joy and emotional freedom.

Our society has taught us to hold a stiff upper lip; releasing emotion is considered a sign of weakness. We are told to pull ourselves together and bury it under the proverbial rug. This is even more prevalent with men, particularly oppressive with soldiers and deep traumas. In the Dagara wisdom (African culture), grief is seen as the food for the psyche. Just as the body needs food, the psyche needs grief to maintain its own healthy balance. Holding back unexpressed emotion and tears is like a time bomb; both dangerous to ourselves and to the world around us. Emotions sit within our bodies on a cellular level and this can now be mapped with incredible precision. Fear in the kidneys, responsibility and burdens on the shoulders, anger and resentment in the spleen and liver. Our bodies need to feel the freedom of flow within; not just the physical flow of oxygen, nutrients and blood but also energetically. When suppression sits within one region of the body for extended periods, it impedes the natural flow, becomes toxic, and creates disharmony of mind and disease of body.

In death, we feel the sudden physical separation from our loved ones. But we also experience an emotional debt, loss and disorientation. This energy is translated within as grief. With the release of this energy we experience healing and closure, it is in letting go that we restore and reset our psyches to that natural balance again. On a spiritual level, in the Dagara wisdom, it is releasing of that grief that allows the spirit of the dead to arrive into their spiritual realm, without the release of the grief there remains a physical attachment to the earth plane. Death can also be interpreted as a sudden loss in our lives such as a job, a marriage or friendship. It can be a violation of our innocence. Nor does it have to be sudden; it could be the grief of not having the support you needed during a crisis.

We all need to grieve. Perhaps starting with acceptance of the emotion will awaken us to the need for it to be expressed. Trickles of tears quickly wiped away are like a small pinhole in a hose. Give yourself permission to run the well dry and feel that lightness of heart and balance of mind again.


Sherri Smith from A State of Bliss has trained extensively and globally with ancient modalities and traditions to combine the wisdom these teachings into her own unique therapies. We are deeply connected to the natural world and many of the ills of society today are a result of our separation from this. Sherri's commitment to her own journey keep her immersed in teachings, experiences and advancement, in turn providing rich and rare content to her offerings. There is a yearning within each of us to live a greater life. Discover your power, your gifts and your truths.

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